Help Us Make a Difference!

We’re helping people in need and finally getting Zach to cut his damn hair. This is 2021’s best figurative killing of two birds with one stone yet!

We're still not sure why people are so obsessed with finding efficient ways to murder the winged occupants of the sky, but why dwell on it? No one here is a psychologist.

Anyway, here's the deal:

Red Dawn has teamed up with The Soup Socialist, a small non-profit in Sultan, Washington whose sole focus is providing basic essentials for the homeless population of that region.

To help fund the charity's operations, Red Dawn’s COO, Zach Hamilton, has agreed to cut his shaggy mop if YOU, our loyal customers and social media followers, collectively donate a minimum of $1,000 to the cause. Not only will your donation help get us closer to our goal, it will also enable you to cast your vote for Zach’s new haircut, based on three pre-selected styles:

For $1,000, Zach will get one of the following hairstyles

Short Faux-Hawk

faux-hawk

Side-Swept Crew Cut

Crew Cut

Asymmetrical High and Tight

assymetrical-high-tight

Yes, this is our social media admin. Zach’s been making fun of his hairstyle for close to a year now, so the poetic justice of making him get the same cut would be EPIC.

But that’s not the end of the story. We can do far more than that, and for each milestone we hit, Zach will be forced to up the ante:

$2,500

zach-hamilton-mullet

Zach gets a wrestler mullet and must keep it for at least one month.

$5,000

zach-hamilton-bald

Zach shaves his dome to the skin for his best impression of a stick of roll-on deodorant.

$10,000

zach-hamilton-baby-bald

Zach shaves his entire body and we livestream it on the Red Dawn Happy Hour, our weekly onslaught of real-time nonsense on Facebook Live @4pm EDT.

The beauty of working with our selected charity? It’s one-man operation, which means there’s no bloated administrative overhead to suck up all the proceeds. Every dollar we raise goes straight to help those that need it the most.

Help Us Make a Difference!

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***IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: The charity’s chosen name is not a statement of political alignment nor is the organizer in any way embracing socialism as a viable economic model. Rather, it’s just a tongue-cheek, apolitical reference to the classic Seinfeld episode featuring the Soup Nazi. “The Soup Socialist: FREE SOUP FOR YOU!!” Get it?***